The crossroads never looked like I thought. They looked like any other space. But somewhere deep down I knew the choices were bigger than they appeared. If I retraced the steps leading up to that place everything seemed clear. I wanted to take the steps. I wanted the new. I wanted to jump into a Brave New World. It was time to blaze a new trail.
I never wanted to be a cautionary tale. That was not my intention. It seemed like a race between the tortoise and the hare.
One part of me knew it would be a marathon. The other side of me hoped for a sprint. If I said nothing came easy, that would be a lie. Somethings did appear magically out of thin air. They never looked the way I thought they would. For a while, that bothered me. I had an expectation on how things would materialize. I thought I knew how the dominos would fall. I didn’t.
In fact, sometimes those dominos would almost suspend in midair not falling at all. More questions then answers seemed to come. How could I keep walking down a road that seemed so full of “perceived” pitfalls? I kept going though not knowing what else to do. The road less traveled is not always as glamorous as you think. There is actually no attention on it at all. No one cared about the trails I was blazing. No one except me. For a while, that pushed me forward, making me want it more.
I understand now that push was necessary to keep me focused on the end game. It would continue until I didn’t need the push anymore. Then I understood there was never going to be an end. There was no stopping the bus. I would keep going. There were no more options, only another rung on the ladder. The problem my ego struggled with was the one step forward, two steps back outward appearance of the process. Each new reality was similar to the old one with slight tweaks and turns. But the core energetics remained the same breaking down one piece at a time.
I kept climbing not knowing when I would reach some sort of pinnacle, another crossroad moment. What else was I suppose to do. It was like trying to re-board a sinking ship. There was nothing left to go back to. I couldn’t create the old realities anymore. They were gone. The “safety” nets were no longer there.
Crossroads are not turning points. There was no epiphany moment. I found peace in the nothingness. There was a vastness of possibilities which were not there before. This made the journey magical. I never knew where things were going to land. This is my road less traveled story. It was not for the faint of heart. There was more twist involved then I knew. I never knew I had that much trust inside. At some point, all of us reach that fabled crossroad. And to my fellow travelers, I say welcome. It’s nice to have some company while walking along.