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The Importance of “No”

Updated: Dec 13, 2020

The power of the word “no” is immense. It seems counter intuitive that a small word packs such a punch. If there was ever a word that was entangled with emotional triggers it is “no.” Whether we say it playfully or not, it feels heavy when it rolls off the tongue. It doesn’t even matter the audience to which it is directed. The feelings around the word are intense no matter its intention.


Perhaps it stems from how we feel about the word itself. Are we reminded of our parents scolding us? Do we take it as rejection? Does it trigger the energy of lack and unworthiness? Do we over utilize it in avoidance? In the end, it doesn’t matter why the word digs the way it does. It doesn’t even matter the tone of which it is spoken or not spoken. It’s the feelings that follow we should examine.


I watched a toddler hear the word “no” and immediately start to cry. The child laid on the floor as if a mortal wound had been inflicted upon him. It struck me that we do the same thing energetically. Our ego shrinks down on the floor to simmer in the perceived blow that has been cast. It hurts our ego’s feelings, cutting deep to the core of our value. It doesn’t even matter why the word was uttered. It was said and now the aftermath is here. How we deal with the aftermath becomes the focal point.


If we get triggered by the word “no”, it is our energy to recognize and clear. It is only a word of rejection, if we allow it to be. When we take it personally it is ours to look at. If our value is measured on anything out side of us, we need to examine why. That works for both the speaker and the receiver of the word. If we avoid the word in fear of judgement, we have to look at that too. What is the energy behind saying it or not saying it? That is where we have to go.


As we move though our journey our relationship with the word changes. It becomes a powerful tool to self-acceptance. When we can say “no” to everything that is less than we deserve from a space of inner power, the word is masterful. It breaks realities in one short breath. We no longer linger in things that serve no purpose to our greater story. We find once we have peace with the word, it no longer bothers us to hear it. The understanding that others are utilizing their power with the word, allows us to accept it.


When to say the word “no” is the most controversial debate we have with ourselves. Its time to define our relationship with the word. This word creates realities that can be awesome and amazing. Sometimes not saying it can too. Once we find peace with the word, utilization becomes easier to discern. Until we find peace with the word, it will remain a point of contention. That’s a lot of power to give to two letters.


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